The Whoa factor and run-on sentence-o-rama

You ever have those weekends that are so full of adventure that when you go to work on Monday you whisper a little sigh of relief? That’s how this weekend was, and how every weekend should be. It is my goal to live adventurously at least 5 days of 7, and I think I did pretty well.

Friday I skipped out of work early, and though I usually don’t run unless something large and savage is chasing me, I ran out the door to go pick up my best friend and her husband for a relatively impromptu trip to Los Angeles for a party to honor my friend Neil Strauss and the release of his new book “Emergency – This Book Will Save Your Life”. It was held at a club in Hollywood that I can only describe as 40′s New York glamour meets H.R. Geiger. In the corner by the bar laid out was a very large, very sleepy arctic wolf. Her name was Glacier, and she was pretty smelly. But I cuddled her anyway. She’s an animal from a place called Amazing Animal Productions where one can take a 125-hr course and become a certified wild animal trainer. (This is now officially on my list of things I need to do.)

Neil came out and gave his ad-libbed speech about the book and apologized for not being able to provide us all with hands-on training as he had been able to do in New York, where he had given the crowd a lesson in picking locks and using shards from aluminum cans to make knives, much to the horror of the manager of the host book store. Instead, he invited a member of the Los Angeles Search and Rescue squad, which he himself has officially joined, to talk about the cause, which is definitely a higher calling, something I’m not sure I would have the stomach for, but yet another reason I respect Neil so much: a testament to the fact that you can be a wonderful, if not socially adept person, reinvent yourself to be one of the cool kids, and in his case, an international seduction guru (go to http://www.stylelife.com/ if you don’t believe me) and still be a wonderful, caring person, never losing that sweet little nerd-at-heart self that Laura and I met in Chattanooga, TN.

Here’s Neil on the right with his adorable girlfriend Dita and the search and rescue guy.

It was also fun since Laura, Joe and I were right in front and as he was mentioning his book on Motley Crue, he called Laura and I out in front of a room of about 200 as having done that same adventure alongside him, which meant I was a popular girl that night instead of the wallflower I tend to be.

After getting $60 of liquor in me (one mixed drink and 4 shots…oh yeah…I totally forgot drinking in Hollywood with drain your pockets faster than a Gypsy Strip Club) I got the moxie up to find Neil and see if I could have a chat with him about art. Long story short, I need to have a painting done for him by next Thursday, a prospect that is at once exhilerating and terrifying. Avant-Garde. I wish I’d paid better attention in Art History. In any event, I’ll post the end result here once I figure out what the heck I’m going to do. “The truest expression of yourself” he said. Oh, my god.

Neil left early, having to be up with Search and Rescue for medical stand-by duty, so we left as this place that was advertised as “un-Hollywood” turned into pretty much the most Hollywood place I’ve ever been, with beautiful, sweaty bodies packed tightly on the strobe-lit dance floor and women standing on top to the booths, each texting furiously with shiny skirts so short they had to shave, and I don’t mean their legs. We stumbled outside, got a Mexican hotdog from a roving cart ( which is just a hotdog wrapped in sizzling bacon…omigod) which might’ve been better had Laura not discovered a little blue was of abc gum in the napkin the vendor gaver her with her dog. Ew. Cab to the hotel, hot shower to rid myself of the film of smoke, drink and other people’s sweat and crawling into bed felt soooo good.

The book itself, btw, is amazing. I am not through it yet, but along with training wild animals, I will not only be renewing my passport in this country, I plan on attaining on from another as well. If there is one thing Neil is great at, it’s hooks. Everything is SO interesting and it’s imperative you read the next chapter or the curiosity will kill you.

I got home to word that I was to receive a new bed with the arrival of Jen’s dad and stepmom who were bringing us a trailer full of new (to us) furniture, which means that for the last two nights I’ve done this glorious thing called “sleeping”. Apparently, we need it to live. I feel MUCH better, spending less time lying contorted on a lumpy futon cursing the Japanese for ever coming up with such a thing.

The rest of the weekend was spent drinking wine with old and new friends, going to church for possibly the most uncomfortable hour of my life…that’s probably for a different post…and going fishing of the OB pier for the first time. No fish though. Also spent another beautiful afternoon at the Chula Vista Nature Center.

A last note: The CVNC is set to close in June, and this is absoutely heartbreaking to me. It is small, it is far away and it it under-advertised. But it is also, IMHO, far more aestheically pleasing than Scripps Aquarium, with more innovative habitat designs, art for sale on the walls, and an interactive shark and ray touch pool. We were lucky enough to get there right before feeding time. Like any animal, the rays get conditioned to being fed at a certain time every day so for 20 minutes before feeding, they were extremely social. Anyone who knows me well knows I am HIGHLY tactile and quite the animal lover, so I was most at peace there, stroking their velvety wings as they fluttered by my hands, ocassionally passing over my fingers for an exploratory kiss (they are bottom feeders, and their teeth are set far back in their mouths. In order to get crabs and shrimp from under the sand they
have a pretty incredible vaccuum, and they’ll suck your fingers up to see if they’re perchance made of squid. Then they smack you with a fin in disappointment.) There is also a huge raptor exhibit, with golden and bald eagles, 4 different kinds of owls, turkey vultures and hawks, not to mention a variety of animals native to SD including snakes, lizards, birds, and bugs, the cutest being little starburst swimming beetles that look like a cross between a ladybug and a tiny turtle. The whole center is set deep in protected wetlands and has about a mile and a half for walking trails that take you along a bit of the South Bay. Not only do I highly recommend visiting this place, but I implore you to help try and save it by going to http://www.savethechulavistanaturecenter.com/ There are links to sign a petition, to email the City manager, and, if you are so blessed, to donate.

And if ANYONE needs someone to go with, I will jump at the chance. It’s only $6 admission.

So that’s it for tonight. I’m sleepy and have a comfy bed soflty calling my name. Take care of yourself.

Love,

CAT