Man, I wish my brain could just force a materialization of the ideas it gets right away. I am having such a creative overload…so many ideas at once which is great, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I can’t even write them down quick enough before they flit out my ears and are gone forever leaving me with some ridiculous Big Fish story…I had a million-dollar idea…I had it…now, if only I could remember what it was….
I am sick. I’ve been sick for the last 4 days. I hate being sick; I’m a huge baby. But if there’s a silver lining it’s that I get to read a book a day, sometimes. A Literary bender, as it were. And a zillion ideas are born in between the pages so here I am lying among down pillows and books (“The Dirt”, “Heroin Diaries”, “The Gift”, “Wild Ducks Flying Backwards”, “The Essential Calvin and Hobbes” and several issues of “Juxtapoz” and “Bust” magazines), my laptop, my idea book, and countless cups of water, juice, coffee and Kleenex and I couldn’t be happier. well, I might if I wasn’t sick, but if I wasn’t sick I’d be at work, in which case I wouldn’t be as happy as I am currently. …wait…what?
I’m taking part in a pretty awesome art show coming up called ILLUMINATION. All the proceeds are going to build a childen’s home in Uganda. I will have one piece in the silent auction and the rest will be up for sale. I’d love to see everyone there, check it out at the Culy Warehouse. www.illuminationsd.com.
I’ll leave with a transcription of a couple pages I wrote while I was freaking out about painting murals in the Jagermeister Offices, the biggest and most exciting job I’ve had to date. Hopefully the first in a long career of big, exciting jobs.
“I am of the 11th hour. Always. This is a character trait of which I’ not fond nor proud. However, somehow it always works for me; I always come through shining at the end. I am sitting in the Jagermeister music offices. It’s late Saturday afternoon and I’ve just returned from fetching dinner (crab rangoon and sweet’n'sour chicken) and supplies (this notebook, Twizzlers, chocolate and plastic shotglasses) and I really don’t have time to be hanging out waxing philosophical about the utter coolness and sheer terror of this project. Really, this is huge. Great, they didn’t give me a fork. So I’m using paintbrushes as chopsticks, which is too fun not to mention.
I learned I don’t move forward with something until I’m completely certain of what I want. This is relatively new. I used to throw it against a wall and hope it stuck (that is to say I’d paint something with nary an idea as to the direction and would hope it didn’t suck…it almost always sucked.) Now I get exactly what I want the first time, however, it is proving to take a great deal of time. I am happy using mostly black and white. No room for error. I go big or go home, and I cannot go home. A few strokes and I am suddenly 100% committed to impressing the shit out of people whose jaws I want to drop. On the upside, when I’m actually working it’s actually working, since it’s all pre-determined. This is my process. Think of it as an 8-hour think day with an hour paint break. I need to be done by tomorrow night; it’s 5 pm now. Ha.
I also learned you don’t say no. You say YES and then do it your way. By walking confidently into the yawning maw of novelty and nerves and fear and excitement, you convince them that what you’re doing is MUCH better than what they originally had in mind.
This is the biggest thing in terms of scale I’ve ever done. Floor-to-ceiling paintings: life-sized girls and deer and bold, graphic outlines. It is also the biggest in terms of the Omigod factor: money and exposure. It’s only a matter of time…
I’m having to take frequent and lengthy breaks because it is SO HARD to look at this wall!!! FUCK MY EYES!!! You know those orange 5-gallon buckets from Home Depot? It’s like wwalking around with one of those on your head. SO MUCH ORANGE. As of now, it looks like it could be the cover of a wicked little book for sinister little children: like Dr. Seuss prancing about with Dr. Demento, meeting with Dr. Kevorkian and finally finding Dr. Feelgood.
I’m still floored by the whole thing. Rick picked me over a dude from L.A. He didn’t say “start in the backroom and let’s see your chops, ” he said “start in reception and my office.” I’m still totally nervewracked but I really don’t think they’re expecting anything like what I’m gonna give ‘em. So excited to come back tomorrow…”
Well that was the end of those notes, but I learned a few more important things:
A projector makes things a zillion times easier AND better. How often do you find a tool that does that? I draw on the transparency exactly what I want, throw it up on the wall, outline it in white and -BOOM- no margin of error. No crooked lines, no weird angles. Wish I had thought to use one years ago. Oh, Santa Baby….
I learned things take 4-5 times longer than I originally estimate. Including when I think I account for that extra time. If I say it takes an hour, it takes 5. If I say it takes 5, it take 20. I’m not sure if this is some form of subcoscious self-sabotage or if I’m just really awful at estimating. I hope it’s the latter.
I learned my eyes are really excellent at centering and leveling things the first time with no tools. I totally count this as a Super Power.
I learned I really, really want a black Lincoln Continental convertible with suicide doors, and I will take that thing around the country. This isn’t even a want, it’s an intention.
The most important lesson of all: I CAN do it. And I can do it really fucking well. Now it’s a matter of practicing not freaking out every time I’m asked to do something I’ve never done before. I have to give HUGE thanks to Rick and the rest of the crew at Jagermeister for having the faith in me that I didn’t have at the beginning, but do now.
So, I guess I’ll leave it at that for now, a job well-done. I’m going to take a little video of the place this weekend so you can all see…but for now back to my cave and my weird ideas…I can’t say what they are, but I do wonder why those kittens have two heads…
CAT